After a mugging that left me more shocked than I could have imagined I am now feeling really, really depressed.
Because the person who I had wanted to help tried to commit suicide because he thought my mugging was a story, simply an excuse to go back on my promise of a little cash aid.
Because I still see stupid bloody platitudes all over FaceBook by idiots and dreamers that say the more you give, the more you receive.
Because I am accused of reaping the rewards of being negative in my outlook by morons who don’t know the first thing about sustaining yourself through physical and emotional agony over decades!
Because I feel that my body betrayed me because it could not react quickly enough to prevent myself being pushed to the ground.
Because I also feel that my body has betrayed me by losing resilience so that I have not been able to sleep nor to stop the spasms of shaking that plague me every hour or so..
Because I am becoming paranoid since I have lost the absolute feeling of security in my home town.
Because I have had to accept that my country of birth feels that it has the right to overcharge me for a passport, a document which I am required to have by law so that I cannot refuse to pay the €200 total replacement cost. This is an item that, thanks to economies of scale, will cost no more than €10 to produce – including wages.
Because the mugger probably doesn’t know and certainly does not care that simply replacing the items I have lost will probably cost me the equivalent of two months’ income. He does not know and will not care that an acquaintance of mine was moved to the try suicide because he thought I had broken a promise.
They say that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger – I wouldn’t mind being a bit weaker!